My favorite uncle is really sick.
He went into cardiac arrest, died, and they brought him back.
Medicine is a funny thing.
He is taking medicine that is killing him, but if he doesn't take it he will die.
A lot of my family members are not saved.
My mom would normally take the initiative and be "the preacher" of the family.
With her out of state, I felt it necessary to step-up.
It's an uncomfortable task.
We can talk to strangers about Christ, but family?!
We choke on our words and stumble in sentences.
I am ashamed of it.
I prayed hard for the right words to say and for strength and courage.
Once I actually got to the hospital and saw family members standing by his bed side, I knew it was going to be tough.
After an hour being there I asked to be alone with him for just a few minutes before I left.
I took a breath and started talking.
I was too concerned what he might think.
Too concerned about making him feel uncomfortable.
He couldn't respond because he had a breathing tube in, so it should have made it easier.
I stumbled.
Said random things.
Tried to make a joke.
Cried a little.
All in all, said nothing I really wanted to.
So I left.
Not really sharing with him Jesus and the chance to go to Heaven.
And I felt awful.
And felt like a failure.
I hope there is another chance.
Because I have nothing to be afraid of.
It's just my own insecurities.
And if it means he can go to Heaven...
I would risk the chance of being uncomfortable.
After all...
hell is a lot worse, right?
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Don't be so hard on yourself. Sharing the gospel isn't always easy, especially with family. You went, you shared a little with him, you showed love to him. You planted a tiny seed, let God do the rest. I'm proud of you and I love you!
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